How To Write A Da Vinci Code Style Bestseller – The Definitive Ten Step Guide

I went into town yesterday to buy some new books and it depressed me to find that the seemingly endless stream of Da Vinci Code style fiction has not yet come to a long, long overdue stop.

Who is buying all these books? And what’s more, why? They all follow exactly the same plot structure. So, to save anyone ever having to buy such a book again, I’ve put together my own DIY ‘Write A Da Vinci Code Style Bestseller Ten Step Guide’ (catchy, huh?)

1) There Is A Terrible Secret Hidden In A Classic Text :

This is your starting point. Choose a classic text or story, in which, inevitably, there lies a hidden code that will reveal a terrible secret/a truth long since hidden/the key to the universe (delete according to taste).

It is essential that everyone is at least aware of the classic text you use. Shakespeare, The Bible= good. The complete works of Will Self=not so good.

With me so far? OK, let’s keep going.

2) If Your University Is Understaffed, It’s Because They’ve All Died In Mysterious Accidents :

All your main characters will be university professors or super-talented graduates. Unfortunately, at least one of your university professors must die before page 45 of your novel.

This seems harsh, but it is essential to the plot. You must kill off the university professor who first discovers the clue to the hidden code in your classic text.

The professor should, of course, be killed off by dark and mysterious forces but NOT BEFORE he has had a chance to contact your hero (this will be the super-talented graduate).

It is this contact that draws your hero into a wicked web of intrigue and conspiracy…or something like that.

3) The Dark, Mysterious Forces Massing Against Your Hero :

No Da Vinci Code style novel is complete without some dark, mysterious forces whose intentions are to keep the truth buried for ever/twist it for their own evil ends.

Save yourself a lot of time and effort by making these mysterious forces an already well known secret society like The Templars, The Masons or even the Illuminati. That way you won’t have to trouble yourself with things like backstory, motivation or other similar irritations that other authors have to struggle with.

After all, you’re writing a best seller here so there’s no time to waste.

4) Add A Large Helping of Clumsy Literary References and Stir Well:

Instead of worrying about characterization (we’ll get to that), you can simply show that your characters are proper academics by having them quote great chunks of your classic text at each other. All academics do this all the time, apparently.

However, around half of your reading public won’t get these references. So you will be forced by your editor to explain each quote in turn. This will increase the clumsy literary reference quotient but will ensure your readers don’t feel stupid.

An example: If you have chosen Shakespeare as your classic text, you can have two main characters quote lines from Hamlet at each other. In a wry, amused manner, if you can manage it.

However, you must then have a minor character say something like “Isn’t that from Hamlet ? That bit where he sees his fathers ghost on the battlements of Elsinore. “

You get the idea.

5) It’s All In The Numbers :

The more convoluted and obscure you can make the clues that will ultimately reveal the secret that your hero is trying to discover, the better.

It doesn’t matter whether these clues make much sense – your hero will be able to solve them, because they are a super-talented graduate with a photographic memory.

Number codes that reveal obscure locations or dates are an absolute must. Similarly, if you don’t include a fragment of parchment that, when decoded, sends your hero off to Harvard or Cambridge to check the archive of some obscure academic, then you’re nowhere.

The ‘decoding the clues’ process should start right at the beginning of the book when the university professor who first uncovers the secret leaves your hero some kind of coded clue before his or her untimely, violent death.

Quite why the university professor didn’t just write a letter saying in plain English ‘I’ve discovered a terrible secret that will change the world’ should, of course, remain completely unexplained.

6) Keep Moving…There’s Nothing to See Here.

Your plot must move quickly and keep your characters going from one location to another so your readership doesn’t start thinking things like:

‘Hang on, isn’t it somewhat coincidental that everywhere the characters go, the dark, mysterious forces turn up at exactly the same time’.

You will, of course, be able to explain these coincidences by the use of the ’surprise double agent’ device.

7) The ‘Surprise Double Agent’ Device

This is where, approximately three-quarters of the way through your novel, you reveal that one of the characters is actually a double agent for the other side.

This serves two essential purposes :

1) it explains why everywhere your hero goes, the dark and mysterious forces arrive simultaneously.

2) It allows you to fill in all those holes in the plot by having your ’secret double agent’ explain what has been going on.

The main benefit, however, is that it saves you, the author, the effort of properly plotting your novel.

8 ) Locations, Locations, Locations

Remember, you need to appeal to a global, but mainly English-speaking, audience.

Thus, it is imperative you include at least 4 of these locations: Harvard University, Oxford University, Cambridge University, The Smithsonian Institute, Westminster Abbey, The Louvre.

If you can throw in some locations in other major English speaking markets (Sydney Opera House, for example) – all the better.

9) Cliches are cliches because they’re true, right?

Keep in mind that ‘global, mainly English-speaking audience’ I mentioned in point 8 and make at least one of your characters English and one American. This is essential to maximize your potential readership.

However, in depth characterization isn’t something you should spend too much time on. Be free with all the cliches you can think of. In many ways, your audience are expecting it and will embrace it.

Here are some examples you are free to use yourselves :

a) Your university professor should be bumbling, stumbling or mumbling…or better yet, all three. Always kindly and slightly distracted from reality, of course. But that’s how all academics actually are, right?

b) Your English characters should have names like Sir Henry Huffington and should always make a cup of tea before doing anything else.

c) Your American characters should be brash, have names like Chuck Wayne and should always choose action over thought. They should, of course, have the kind of familiarity with firearms that would impress a Green Beret.

10) The End Is The Beginning Is The End

You, may, of course end your novel in any way you choose. However, keep in mind that your hero has uncovered a secret that could potentially change the world.

This gives you two realistic options for the end of your novel :

a) The secret is somehow destroyed

b) Your hero comes to the conclusion that revealing this secret to the world will cause more harm than good and vows to keep it hidden.

So, there we have it, the ultimate guide to writing a Da Vinci Code style bestseller. Have fun.