Six Reasons Cats Are Superior To Dogs

Where I live, I don’t seem to be able to walk down the street without tip-toeing around some dog dirt. Even worse are the never-ending streams of people walking dogs that should be muzzled and are, more often than not, named ‘Tyson’.

Truth be told, though, I’ve never really liked dogs. Cats are, frankly, the superior animal and here’s half a dozen reasons why:

1) Cats Can Take Themselves For Walks

Dogs seem incapable of taking themselves for a walk without getting lost or run over or something. Cats, on the other hand, are quite willing to exercise themselves without bothering their owners.

Score one for the felines.

2) A Bath Once A Month Whether You Need It Or Not

Like small children, dogs don’t like to be bathed. Unlike small children, however, dogs seem completely incapable of cleaning or washing themselves.

They are therefore often pretty smelly, grotty animals.

By contrast, cats seem to spend pretty much all day grooming and cleaning themselves. You don’t have to wash or bath cats.

Score two for the felines.

3) What The Hell Is All That Noise?

Anyone who has ever had dogs as pets will confirm that they bark at the slighest thing – the doorbell, someone walking into a room, someone walking out of a room, other dogs. In fact, dogs bark at pretty much everything all the time.

This, if you are used to cats, is intensely distracting and annoying.

Cats, by contrast, are comparatively quiet. Make that 3-0 to the cat.

4) Wherefore Art Thou…Master

If you leave a cat at home alone all day…you’ll come back to find it sleeping peacefully without a care in the world.

If you leave a dog at home alone all day…you’ll come back to find it has eaten your sofa, howled so much it’s hoarse and, for the final denouement, has defecated on your new carpet.

Do I need to say more?

5) Drooling On Me Is A Sign Of Affection, Right?

Dogs slobber a lot. They also drool a lot. Drooling on me may be a sign of affection as far as a dog is concerned, but to me, it’s just disgusting.

Score yet another to the cats.

6) Cats Keep You Alive Longer. Fact. Dogs Don’t.

OK, here’s the big one. Cats keep you alive longer.

Cat owners are “less likely to die of a heart attack and other cardiovascular diseases than people who have never had a pet cat”, according to a National Health and Nutrition Examination Study of over 4,500 people.

And before you dog lovers claim that dogs have the same effect, the study doesn’t support that conclusion. So there.

In the words of my eight year old niece. Cats rool. Dogs drool. And you can’t argue with that kind of logic, can you?